19 July 2002 (Friday)
soapbox: on music
This seems like the sort of thing the metameat/caterina crowd would be into. Très avant-garde, oui. I'm particularly entertained by the calculator one.
I hope always to keep my taste in music innocent. By that I don't mean confining myself to squeaky-clean fun, with no exploration of dark themes. Heavens no. I mean always being confident enough to like what I like, without worrying about whether it's cool to do so. Sure, I'm a Radiohead fan and I collect albums by indie bands you've never heard of, and I can find nothing redeeming in most of mainstream radio. But I also cannot fathom Apples In Stereo or Belle & Sebastian, Coltrane is still beyond me, and there's this godawfully New Country ballad called "Austin" that brings tears to my eyes every time.
Conceded: to a certain extent, music is fashion. What you listen to is analogous to what you wear: people will classify you, judge you, based on the choices you make, not in small part because you do have a choice in these things. Categorization is inevitable and necessary in human societies. But music should run so much deeper than acceptance into some clique; it should be about giving a voice to all the different corners of your psyche, opening up worlds that aren't accessible by everyday existence. The sheer diversity of music out there is a testament to the diversity of human spirit. And I think that's just fucking beautiful.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going to light some scented candles and put on some angst-ridden singer-songwriter and croon "ohh Sarah, I love you! You understand me!" Sometimes, baby, I am my demographic.
posted by enjelani @ 02:59 PM PST [ link ]
mr. syndromes rocks my world
I just discovered all the comments he left in my geocities-era archives. It's like an endless wooden chest of letters from a pen pal I didn't even know I had.
Hugs and hugs, Mr. S. This makes my day like ya wouldn't believe.
posted by enjelani @ 11:19 AM PST [ link ]
half-asleep
It is far too late to be doing laundry, much less doing laundry, practicing guitar, and reading about Supreme Court justice nominations.
Life is delicious.
It usually is; it's just got different flavors and textures, depending. Right now I'd say it tastes like homemade gravy with just the right smidgin of black pepper in it, poured over a piping hot buttermilk biscuit.
See, I told you I was homesick for Tennessee.
Did I mention that I stepped in puppy pee this evening? I have decided that I am not a dog person. I have nothing against them really, and they get along with me just fine, but I have no interest in owning one. I suppose this is somewhat akin to Lenny's stance on children.
Boss at job #1 wants me to stay on until mid-August. I bit my tongue to keep from telling him I'd go completely stir-crazy if I hung around that long, after deciding to leave this mid-life-crisis-in-the-making of a job. I think I actually said something far more diplomatic.
Subject for mulling: it's a good thing that most people don't just act like themselves in all situations. Most of us are bitches and assholes underneath the surface, in some sense or another. The trick is to become a person who has nothing to hide: where tolerance and good-naturedness and a genuine interest in other people comes naturally, where one's anger or hurt is justified and best addressed as quickly and directly as possible.
Eh. Food for thought, anyhow.
Fabric stores are cool. They're particularly cool when your younger sister is game for making you an evening gown. I have no use for ballroom attire right now, but you have to be prepared for these things.
It is now instant-noodle hour.
posted by enjelani @ 12:16 AM PST [ link ]
18 July 2002 (Thursday)
good old-fashioned family values
America needs a good whack upside the head. I don't mean this in a cynical or despairing way, actually; I just think it would do us (and everyone else) a lot of good if we had to eat a nice fat slice of humble pie about now. A worldwide revolt against our foreign policy might do it, accompanied by a small economic collapse on our part, just serious enough to require our begging other nations for assistance. Of course, to a certain extent, as the U.S. economy goes, so goes the worldwide economy, so this will be tricky.
It may already be happening, though. The revelations of corporate fiscal irresponsibility, the ever-present entrenchment of partisanship stifling legislation, the slow implosion of the old guard in the music industry, even the crisis in our Catholic church...it may all be dry underbrush gathering in the forest, waiting for a lightning strike to burn the whole place down. As American citizens, we'll be hapless individuals caught in the crushing downstroke of history when it happens, but so it goes. What doesn't work has to give way to something that does, however painful the process.
>> more...
posted by enjelani @ 02:19 PM PST [ link ]
17 July 2002 (Wednesday)
samoootch
It occurs to me that there are no photos in existence of me kissing someone.
Not that I necessarily want any.
Soren, don't even.
posted by enjelani @ 07:16 PM PST [ link ]
today's blather, part iii
And now I've gone and thoroughly nauseated myself eating a 20-piece box of McDonald's Chicken McNuggets. I had this vague notion of showing a little support for their recent campaign to implement humane treatment of livestock animals. Somewhere in there I forgot that fast food is still gross.
A local state university offers a "special major" graduate program, wherein one designs one's own master's degree. Apparently they also admit people as "unclassified" grad students, which means you get zero financial aid but you get to wander around academically for as long as you want. The search for job #3 begins.
posted by enjelani @ 04:47 PM PST [ link ]
much better
My fingers are back to their usual nubby selves. Murphy's Law dictates that I will now be called upon to open several dozen canned sodas in the next few days.
posted by enjelani @ 12:25 PM PST [ link ]
blather
I've been sitting here for ten minutes trying to think of something deep to post. Nada. My mind is only on my struggling herb seedlings and my lack of a gym routine and the fact that my bathroom is in serious need of dusting. Someone tell me how a bathroom comes to need dusting. It's a humid room. I don't beat my rugs in there (not that I have rugs). And the dust is blue. Maybe little azure-colored aliens have been shedding their winter coats there without my permission.
Ms. Technicolor will be posting like mad for the Blogathon on the 27th -- at least twice hourly for 24 hours. This concept strikes me as both brilliant and hilarious. You know a fad has fully arrived when people can fundraise for charity with it.
I wonder why I insist on referring to fellow bloggers as though I were writing for the New York Times.
And now, something must be done about these fingernails. Clickety-clackety click. All you Real Ladies out there, I don't know how you do it.
posted by enjelani @ 10:27 AM PST [ link ]
16 July 2002 (Tuesday)
negativity
I'm in one of those states where my lower lip is constantly trembling, or threatening to.
It is my current theory that I have a touch of schizophrenia. A whole parade of people live in my head, not all of them friendly; maybe one of these days something will set them off and they'll come tumbling down into my so-called real world. There's one that I've locked out of the house but she's pounding the door and screaming at me right now, muffled through the wood and paint but certainly there, impossible to ignore. This morning she had me cornered and was bitch-slapping me across the face. It hurt. I don't always know how to fight back, or even if I'm suppposed to.
I'll be damned if she succeeds at whatever she's trying to do, though. She single-handedly destroyed a lot of Zach's trust in me, back when we were together. No way in hell I'm going to let that kind of thing happen again.
On a related note, Soren is my hero. Wonders never cease in knowing this man.
Sorry to be so melodramatic on a Tuesday morning. I'm just tired and hungry and already homesick for Tennessee, that's all.
posted by enjelani @ 11:44 AM PST [ link ]