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11 September 2002 (Wednesday): anniversary

I can't say it any better than jimbatcho said it, so just click on the link.

Abstract questions have been floating around in my head today, mostly morbid and tasteless given the occasion, I suppose. Is it possible to have a world with fairly distributed suffering? Is it possible to have a world without suffering at all, and would I want to live in such a world? While I'm at it, is there a good reason why we always favor life over death, to the point where we would impose that choice on others? Are there some lives that are, objectively speaking, not worth living? Is some dosage of brutality, injustice, tragic accident and just plain stupidity not only inevitable, but necessary? Is it possible to have a world without evil, and would I want to live in such a world? This evil, this dark side we all have to some degree, that desire to kill, to inflict pain, to control -- is it really so simple as something to vanquish, something that doesn't belong in our spirits, a disease of the soul? If so, why is it everywhere, in everyone? Could it be that it serves a purpose?

It's all very well for me to think these things from my cozy little corner. I ask these questions in a socioeconomic context: one of affluence and comfort, that has never known war or even danger, only vicarious horrors. In another life I was passionately religious, convinced that my God watched over me and protected me even as my home was burned down, my parents' throats slit, my children's bellies swelling with starvation as the drought turned impossibly long. In another life I got a call from my fiancé exactly one year ago this morning, telling me goodbye, that he was on the ninety-first floor and the exit stairwells were gone. In another life I didn't have the luxury of musing over whether evil has its place in things. In this life, though, I can only hold out my hands and say, "I'm sorry. I'll do what I can. I'll try to make it right. But maybe it can't be done. Maybe it's already right."

posted by enjelani @ 04:16 PM PST