2 August 2002 (Friday)
on a more technical note
Sometimes Macintosh just blows.
This is not entirely Apple's fault; it's the age-old application support problem. Things that claim to open MS Word documents don't. An email program that works like a dandy on Windows doesn't do diddly-squat on a Mac, and erases half the contents of my folders besides (yay for the presence of mind to back up first). Yahoo IM has no auto-archive option. Suck.
I also have some grievances with the OS itself, namely the strictness of its file typing ("Whaddaya mean I can't open that in SimpleText? It's short, and it's got text in it, dammit!") and the lack of a system tray and the general lack of multi-threaded processing. And it could use a Task Manager (or ps/kill) equivalent. All this is with OS 9.x of course, and I've been told that I should get off my lazy heinie and upgrade to X. That life is better on the other side, and I even get to drool over Aqua in the bargain. So that'll probably be this weekend's project. I need to get my computer's act together before I can trust it with the day-to-day operations of job #2.
This post will likely invite a flurry of kind but condescending comments, gently informing me of how clueless I am (and sound). To this prospect I say: bring it on! Free tech support, baby, free tech support.
posted by enjelani @ 10:52 PM PST [ link ]
warm fuzzies from the job #1 office
I sent out my goodbye email at work this morning. People have been coming by my cube in a steady stream, most to wish me luck, some to say they enjoyed working with me -- and some, whom I've never met before today, to tell me I'm an inspiration to them. Golly gee willikers. But hey, I'm happy to help lure people away from the rat race if I can.
I took my team to a cult enclave for my farewell lunch. It wasn't my intention -- I just thought I'd pick a vegetarian restaurant, as a kind of tribute to the vegetarians who've endured group lunches at steakhouses and seafood places through the years. Turns out the place I chose was a temple to some Eastern spiritual leader, with the dining aspect almost an afterthought. Our banquet room had a TV playing a video of one of her speeches, and the walls were lined with books, pamphlets and instructional tapes written by her disciples, translated into a dozen different languages. There were, of course, pictures of her everywhere, dressed up in various ceremonial garb and heavy makeup. It almost felt like a shrine for a movie star, a Southeast-Asian Audrey Hepburn equivalent. At least the food was tasty.
Oh, and there were mannequins lined up along one wall, frozen in awkward poses and staring at us as we ate. I wasn't sure how that tied in with Ms. Dalai-Lama's philosophy.
Dardy IMed me to ask how it feels to be leaving a job. I told him it feels like graduation. The progression seems natural to me, I guess; I feel like I've done my proper time in the corporate world, I've learned what I could learn from it, and now it's time to move on. I'm not scared, and I'm not sad. But I do pause for a moment to look back, and in my mind I exhale a long sigh. I'm closing another chapter. It's part of my past now.
posted by enjelani @ 03:56 PM PST [ link ]
1 August 2002 (Thursday)
sista
Um. To clarify, Liz is thirteen years old.
I hope that explains everything, or most things. Poor wayward Mr. S, trying to hit on my little sister. I think she was too confused to be traumatized.
While I'm on the subject, I've always wondered what the relationship between Liz and me will be like in the distant future. 13 <-> 23 is a big gap, but 43 <-> 53? 73 <-> 83? It's been interesting even in the past several years, watching the chasm narrow. After all, once upon a time she just drooled in response to everything I said.
And I just really like having her for a younger sister. Among other things, she's unflinchingly honest with me, and coming from a thirteen-year-old sibling the truth is somehow more palatable. When I stopped by the other weekend she greeted me with "Yay, you're home! And what the heck did you do to your hair?"
posted by enjelani @ 12:33 PM PST [ link ]
31 July 2002 (Wednesday)
liz has a livejournal!
Well will you lookit that.
She's even using my pseudonyms 'n everything.
Hi, Liz.
posted by enjelani @ 06:21 PM PST [ link ]
the job-as-relationship analogy
Dude, Eric Cheng is badass. I mean, he plays with sharks and stuff.
Two more days. I may actually miss software engineering. There's nothing about the world I'll be entering soon that involves the same degree of cold logic, a clear scientific definition of whether it works or not. Hell, I may get downright nostalgic about sitting in front of this here monitor at 10 PM some Thursday night, going down my bug list, reading the symptoms, clicking on the guilty source file and letting my eyes flicker across the code, searching for answers, knowing they're in there waiting for me to find them.
I just had an exit interview of sorts with one of the bosses. It was like one of those awkward end-of-the-relationship chats, in a way. I'm breaking up with this girl, and she's not trying to make me stay or anything, but she wants to know: where did it go wrong? What did she do? I could be hurtful and list all the things I never liked about her, personality traits of hers that pissed me off, stuff she did that made me think "whoa, I am really with the wrong woman here." I could tell her that she didn't do anything really, that ultimately it was my fault, my not investing enough in the relationship, my being unable to bring myself to care enough to make it work. I said a little of both, in the end. But the overwhelming feeling was one of inherent hopelessness. You and I were not meant to be together, I wanted to say. That's all. There's nothing you or I could have done. You could change, but then you wouldn't be you. I could change, but then I wouldn't be me. Let's stop trying to change each other and just go our separate ways.
It wasn't nearly as agonizing as it would've been romantically, of course. They're happy for me that I'm off to pursue a long-held dream; they're just sorry to see me go because it's one less engineer with a clue around here (and the higher-ups have closed the rec on my position, which means they can't replace me -- yikes). The analogy doesn't really hold because none of this is anything personal. But still, I found it hard to answer when asked to give some honest criticism of the group I've worked with for two years. Yes, I hated working here at times, especially near the end. But whose fault was that, and could it have been avoided? I don't know. Maybe I was just never meant to be happy here.
posted by enjelani @ 05:00 PM PST [ link ]
30 July 2002 (Tuesday)
a fine hostess i am
I am completely incompetent when it comes to Evite.
That is all for today.
posted by enjelani @ 12:11 PM PST [ link ]
29 July 2002 (Monday)
monday mumbles
It is utterly lame, I realize, to whine about having a lot of work as a freelancer. One is supposed to be stressed when one can't find work, not when there are too many opportunities cropping up to handle all at once.
Still, this is a tad stressful.
I'm reminded of my last term in college, when I was drowning in job interviews: racing in cabs from one corporate building to another, sniffing my one business suit to see if it was noticeably sweat-scented yet, getting my brain fried for hours on end with questions about recursion, multiple inheritance, linked lists, sliding window algorithms. No one had any sympathy. "Look, you're gonna get a cool job. No one's even called me back yet," they said. "Shut up already."
They do have a point though. I'm shutting up now.
A point of clarification about the puppy I've mentioned a few times here: she's not mine. My parents got her for Liz, who's had puppy fever for years now. Taking care of Aerial is like child-rearing in miniature, with ample doses of frustration, annoyance, wonder, exhaustion, love and perfect little moments. At least this is how my folks describe it to me. I wouldn't know; I'm like the aunt who comes to babysit now and again, each time marveling at how much she's grown and the progress she's made.
Hugs to Emmett, a man with a good heart who's grappling with a difficult problem. Hugs to my dad for the same.
I would also like to mention that Ms. Slithy-Tove writes lovely letters. They're emails, but they might as well be on binder paper, arriving in the mail with a postage stamp.
George Lucas, visionary or no, should find someone else to direct his human characters. Half the old crew (Zach, Drew, Lynn and I, plus Drew's roommate) went to watch Episode II on Saturday, and I concur with Zach: it is a powerful and unfortunate gift to make an audience cringe at Ewan McGregor.
posted by enjelani @ 11:51 AM PST [ link ]
28 July 2002 (Sunday)
my sister is a strange person
This mysteriously appeared on my laptop tonight:
A: hehehehehehehehehe.
B: what?
A: nothing.
B: what do you mean, hehehehehehehehehe?
C: i feel like moosemeat.
B: who invited him?
A: hehehehehehehehehe.
B: what's that supposed to mean?
C: it means i feel like moosemeat.
A: hehehehehehehehehe.
B and C: would you stop saying that??
Liz + computer = um.
posted by enjelani @ 11:28 PM PST [ link ]