5 July 2002 (Friday)
standards and protocols
My parents got into a shouting match this afternoon, over troubleshooting the installation of their broadband connection. As they took verbal jabs at one another and grrr'd and fumed and so on, I walked carefully around them, connecting various cables and bringing up the TCP/IP config windows on various monitors. The yelling went on, and finally I looked up from the desk and said, "With all due respect, could you take the discussion somewhere else?" They blinked at me, but promptly moved to a room down the hall and shut the door. I got Internet access working on both laptops and my brother's Windows ME machine, but no luck on the old PowerMac, which was where we actually wanted it. I turned the machine around and looked for the NIC's green LED: bingo. Dead Ethernet card. No wonder.
Shortly afterward Mom and Dad emerged, fully reconciled. Temporary communication failure. Troubleshoot, reboot, hope for the best, smile when things come up smoothly. They've got kids to do the technical computer stuff; the more important project is their own relationship. And they work through those challenges better than anyone else I know.
I've been thinking a lot lately -- maybe more than is healthy -- about the man I'll choose to be with me for the rest of my life, what factors will determine the success and longevity of our time together. It seems to me that all it requires, ultimately, is a tacit understanding of what togetherness means. I think I know, and I think I can honor it when the time comes. But no one ever knows what lies ahead; certainly my parents didn't. But they had a hunch, a conviction, and with that conviction came the kind of faith that's seen them through all these years. There was also a lot of luck involved, I'm sure, but luck can't have been all of it.
Fourth-of-July weekend is a very bad time to go to an electronics store in search of an Ethernet card.
posted by enjelani @ 04:44 PM PST [ link ]
4 July 2002 (Thursday)
okay, so i'm dumb
This is the last time I move my mp3 collection from one computer to another via FTP.
posted by enjelani @ 03:31 PM PST [ link ]
3 July 2002 (Wednesday)
music :: memory
come as you are, sweetheart
come as you are
you know you've got nothing to prove
Coming to Soren's house at midnight. The lingering cloak of fog and sea spray. Orange street lights passing over the car in steady rhythmic cycles, moving shadows across the dashboard. What is happening? I'm thinking. How is it that I find myself here? Who is he? Who will he become? I feel myself clutching at this delicious uncertainty, wrapped in a cloud of dark, pulsing hope.
he is surrounded by the sound, the sound
of cattle in the marketplace
scatterlings and orphanages
Late spring/summer, the glare of midday sun flattening a landscape of wood and grass and lemon trees. My mother in the kitchen chopping carrots and flank steak, rice noodles soaking in a yellow mixing bowl. The bright tart smell of strawberries, a whole flat brought back from the farmer's market that morning, glowing impossibly red under the skylight. Emmett and Liz and me lurching around the family room, the stereo on full blast, our hearts racing from laughter and our mad flailing choreography. My father comes to the doorway and leans against it, shaking his head and smiling.
is that a dagger or a crucifix I see
you hold so tightly in your hand
and all the while the distance grows between you and me
I do not understand
The little room on the second floor landing, fruit lights strewn across the ceiling, Ava on the top bunk reading textbooks. Rain strikes dry pavement, awakens the oil and sends its dusky perfume drifting through the window, whose glass is blurry with age. Ava climbs down, picks up her mug and asks if I want tea. I smile and shake my head, thanks. Inside I am frightened, tired, slowly collapsing under the weight of school, convinced I am headed inexorably toward crisis. She leaves the room and I get up from my chair, stand straight and close my eyes, hoping that music somehow holds the answers.
- Elbow, "Red"
- Paul Simon, "You Can Call Me Al"
- Peter Gabriel, "Blood of Eden"
posted by enjelani @ 11:41 AM PST [ link ]
2 July 2002 (Tuesday)
feeding the questionnaire habit
-----BEGIN GEEK CODE BLOCK-----
Version: 3.1
GAT d-(--) s: a-- C++() U P+>++ L>++ E W++(+++) N- o? K? w O? M+(-) V?
PS++ PE-(+) Y(+) PGP+() t-() 5- X R?>+ !tv b++ DI++ D?>+ G- e++ h r++ x+*
------END GEEK CODE BLOCK------
Well, okay, not really on that last bit, but whatkinyadoo with these pigeonholes...
posted by enjelani @ 06:33 PM PST [ link ]
wish list
- Acoustic guitar.
- Rock climbing.
- Hmm, maybe I'm just an Amabelle wannabe...
- Frequent backpacking trips.
- Plant, insect and bird identification.
- Constellations.
- Jazz piano.
- Swing dancing.
- Meditation.
- Yoga.
- Hmm, maybe I'm just a California girl...
- Chinese and Italian cooking.
- Making a killer flán wouldn't hurt either.
- Fluency in Spanish.
- Delivering witty retorts without stumbling over my words.
- Shooting pool.
- Bowling.
- Chess.
- Taking computers apart and/or putting them back together.
- Fixing cars.
- Whitewater canoeing.
- Sailboats.
- Vegetable gardening.
Soren tells me that I eat a cup of yogurt in much the same fashion as I live my life in general. I'm not entirely sure what he means by this, but I do like eating yogurt.
posted by enjelani @ 02:07 PM PST [ link ]
1 July 2002 (Monday)
crevasse-crossing: the continuing saga
The deed is done. Job #1 is no more. I've got another two weeks to a month or so, but it's all exit work from now on. I kept my promise to myself.
I'm grinning so wide it hurts.
posted by enjelani @ 06:07 PM PST [ link ]
one, two...
three.
posted by enjelani @ 10:44 AM PST [ link ]