29 May 2003 (Thursday)

late-nite

Down the hall from me, two lovers are engaged in a lively discussion about something I can't quite hear. It makes me happy, hearing just the rhythm of their voices, the effortless give-and-take born of familiarity and mutual respect.

I swear I haven't become an eavesdropper.

I found my little demon's identity papers a few nights ago. The DMV photos are hilarious; the passport stamps, fascinating.

posted by enjelani @ 09:56 PM PST [ link ]

26 May 2003 (Monday)

sacrifice

Overheard in an adjacent bedroom:

- There has been so much sadness in my life. So much hardship. So much anger.
- You've survived it.
- Oh yes, I've survived it, sure. But it's too late to be happy now. I'm eighty-one.
- There's always time to start being happy.
- No. I saw a movie recently, about a woman who couldn't laugh. Couldn't smile. That's me. I see happy things, I can't smile.
- You have to try, Ma.
- Too late. He took all that away from me. Self-centered bastard. Never a thought for what I might be going through.
- That's in the past. Bury it. You're free now.
- Free, ha! I'm so tired. My head hurts all the time.
- You're free of him here, now start acting like it. If you choose to suffer from the memories, he still controls you. You're still letting him control you.
- What else can I do? My head hurts all the time. The pills don't work. I couldn't sleep last night, now I'm going to be tired all day.
- You can do plenty. You're taking English classes.
- Huh.
- And doing quite well if I recall. Top of your class, a regular teacher's aide.
- It's always too long. Two hours, I can't even get up to get a drink of water.
- You're learning something new. The world is opening up to you.
- My head hurts all the time. That self-centered bastard. He never did a thing for me. Never a thing.

posted by enjelani @ 12:55 AM PST [ link ]