the last embassy
enjelani's journal archives
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25 May 2002 (Saturday) love me love me say that you love me
Outside validation: I am somewhat popular! I can die happy now! Last week I was 548, and as of this afternoon I was hovering in the 80-100 range over at the Rice Bowl Journals. As to why, I haven't the faintest. My 64x64 photo isn't particularly hawt. I'm going to have to add technicolor to my list on the left soon. Would that I had been so clever and articulate in high school.
posted by enjelani @ 01:32 AM PST [ link ]
24 May 2002 (Friday) and a three-legged dog
Oregon is clean and green. Northern California minus the smog and sprawl. Their Canada to our United States. I hear they despise us on principle up there, or at least resent our obnoxious habits, the way we get all the attention for our yoga centers and smoothies and dot-coms-turned-bombs. Don't blame them, really. Turning off 5 onto 99 into Ashland we stumbled into a minor paradise, complete with real farmhouses and clear-running streams, mountains bright with spring flowers in the distance (which one could actually see clearly -- my word).
>> more...
posted by enjelani @ 07:09 PM PST [ link ]
23 May 2002 (Thursday) disorderly list
- These sudden flashes of...of what? The Fear? Death? Dark epiphany? Madness? Four or five seconds each: I slip out of myself and out of this reality, dissolving into an inward scream for something that was lost the moment I discovered it, that I can't get back. Twice yesterday, once this morning. They're terrifying, but I seem to welcome them too.
- Mayan hammocks: the only way to hang, dahling. I staked my claim on one on eBay today; it'll go in the alcove of the new apartment in lieu of a couch, so's I can read a book swinging high above the hubbub. Next project: getting the paint off the screws for the godawfulugly overhead lamps, so I can replace them with big paper lanterns. They painted over my toilet-paper holder too, the sillies.
- Sorry Joey, I am still mystified by the club/bar/lounge scene. Are social spots really so conducive to socializing? Loud music and visual distractions every-which-way seem like they interfere with genuine conversation, not enhance it. Ah well. I was happy to show off my new happenin' 'hood anyway. By the way, I agree: your man is the spitting image of Matt Damon. Goodness.
- When I am without a day job, maybe I'll take it upon myself to become a professional hugger. A warm-fuzzy whore. Maybe an online form or a toll-free phone line. We'll meet in a public place, maybe outside a restaurant or on the playground in the park. I can pretend we're long-lost friends if you want. I'll wrap my arms around you and remind you that humanity can be as simple as this, as a wordless hello that takes you for who you are, no more and no less. I'll only let go when you let go; then I'll smile, nod and walk on. That's so dangerous, they'll tell me; be careful, there are some real crazies out there. But love is never safe, now is it?
Synopsis of Oregon next post. I'm still re-acclimatizing.
posted by enjelani @ 04:17 PM PST [ link ]
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