28 February 2002 (Thursday)
voicemail from mom
Wednes-day, Ten Se-ven-teen P-M
"Hi Enjelani, just got your voicemail from this morning. Daddy will be home this weekend. I think Saturday evening would be best to talk; Sunday Elizabeth has her piano certification exam thing, so it's going to be a little busy. So hope that works for you. See you then. Okay, bye-bye."
posted by enjelani @ 10:08 AM PST [ link ]
voicemail from dad
Wednes-day, Nine Thir-ty-Three P-M
"Hello, I just got in, just got your message. I'm in the apartment now, cooking my, ah, nutritious....stew. Tomato, spinach, wild rice. Well, I don't really know what's in there, but it tastes awful. Anyway, give me a call. I'm usually up until about 11. Actually you can call me later than that. I'll be up. Okay? Bye."
posted by enjelani @ 10:05 AM PST [ link ]
26 February 2002 (Tuesday)
shazam!
I think too much. Calling a holiday on thinking today. Just doing instead.
I thrive best hermit-style
with a beard and a pipe
and a parrot on each side
but now I can't do this without you
- Björk, "Unison"
posted by enjelani @ 01:17 PM PST [ link ]
25 February 2002 (Monday)
just like sarah hughes
So I am jittery about this week. Have to be code-complete for this project at work. Have way too long a list of Things That Would Be Really Nice To Do And In Fact It Would Be Nice If They Were Mandatory, Since It Sucks Not To Have Them. Am suspecting I am neither ingenious nor industrious enough for the tasks at hand. As for job #2, I've got three and a half gigs this week, plus one meeting with Someone Important Who Could Really Help My Career Along If I Don't Screw This Up. Yay.
My family members, albeit very supportive in their own way, are not particularly sympathetic. "You have confidence issues," Emmett told me this weekend. My mother in turn offered the following: "You just need to be like Sarah Hughes. Not like Michelle Kwan. Just watching that figure skating, you could tell who had what it took inside and who didn't. The ones who're afraid are the ones who fall."
Thanks, Mom. I'll look around for my fearlessness switch and just flick it on. I'm sure it's here somewhere.
I am well aware that this is a test -- which I've set up for myself, come to think of it. How do I stand up to pressure? How do I deal with feeling overwhelmed and underqualified? It's not exactly fun being in this situation, but I'm really curious to see how it turns out. The thing is, deep down I know that I'm good. And that strength wants to be challenged, just as my body wants to break into a sprint or scale a rock face every now and then. Character is meaningless until it's used for something.
Fearlessness is not part of who I am. But I think rising to the occasion is.
posted by enjelani @ 05:16 PM PST [ link ]