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24 December 2002 (Tuesday): ties that bind
A very merry Christmas to all -- to those of you who celebrate it, anyway. (You can never be sure, given religious diversity and anti-consumerism boycotts. I'd like to go to a pagan solstice sometime.)
There's an autumnal feel to the family gathering this year. I've been living on my own for six Christmasses now, Emmett for almost three, and between four cars and disparate sets of friends to visit, members of the family scatter in separate directions for most of the day. In a little while Liz will be driving too -- and one of these years I may be spending Christmas with my husband's family, instead of my own. We're all on independent paths, and the moments we come together are so rare that they feel like events in and of themselves, things that require careful orchestration if they're to happen at all. The communal sense of this house is fading. We're growing up.
The key to survival: food. Dad was right to insist throughout my childhood that we have meals together; I think it's where the family was built, really, and it's where we always return when we're unsure of who we are to one another. At the kitchen table we're on familiar ground. Conversation blossoms, debate rages, and all those stupid in-jokes resurface to howling laughter. We dredge up our collective history as we eat, retelling it, adding chapters. If we came to an empty table expressly for the purpose of connecting, it wouldn't work. You need to have your mouth full for these things.
posted by enjelani @ 06:40 PM PST
Replies: 3 comments
Unless i'm initiating change, I generally don't care for it much. My family can't seem to decide on a way to celebrate Xmas, so every year (for the past few) it's been different. I tend to want to goto my parents house, spend X-mas eve there, get up at 8 or 9am, open gifts, eat breakfast, and then head out to other friends places to yap it up with them and their families.
Stuck in the past, I am :)
That being said, I do always enjoy getting together with the rest of my family, regardless of the setting. We're all going to hawaii later this year for a week, so that should be cool. Maybe i'll see Santa in some hawaiian skivvies!
BTW, we haven't seen you down here in 6 months damnit! Unacceptable! ;)
Merry CHRISTmas & happy new year!
posted by syndromes @ 28 12 2002 06:06 PM PST
Come back!
Me misses you!
posted by syndromes @ 04 01 2003 06:31 PM PST
You understand. You really do understand why I keep having dinner parties, why I keep cooking fabulous feasts for my friends. This is exactly why I make fried chicken on a Sunday afternoon when watching football sounds as appealing--because it taps into that sense of family and belonging that is, sadly, so often lacking in this life.
posted by Gaudior @ 08 01 2003 05:05 PM PST