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27 May 2002 (Monday): the space-time continuum

Sleep, work, social life, hobbies, romance, and a reasonably clean house: mix and match, limit 2 per customer. Three days and it's still the shortest of weekends.

Had an unexpected heart-to-heart with an old friend last night, huddling in fleece sweatshirts out on a balcony. Robert's a devout Presbyterian, married nine months now, to a wife with whom his deepest connection is their religious faith. They've got a nice new townhouse that looks out on a little park in the suburbs. He wants to be a company man like people did in the old days, loyal to a single firm for twenty years or more.

And me? A month after Robert's wedding I left one man to be with another, engendering a bit of real-life drama worthy of a soap opera. I've had a number of interesting substance-induced experiences in the past year. I alternate between tricking myself into liking my day job and actively resenting it, while the so-called hobby, the dream job, becomes reality almost faster than I can keep up. I am years away from a down payment on a house.

Yet we still connected. We have profound respect for one another, and so listened with curiosity instead of judgment to each others' stories. Sure, I blinked a few times when he mentioned how he and his then-girlfriend both found counselors to keep them "in check," to make sure they "stayed on the right path for the relationship" while they were dating. And he nodded very slowly as I explained that I'm giving up a scholarship to music school, in favor of playing in coffeehouses halfway across the country. As different as we are, we're both after similar things: love in our own fashion, success on our own terms, the meaning of life in our own words. We've known each other since we were twelve, and neither of us has changed much, not at the core. What made us friends then is still there.

I've been warned that the older I get, the more I will need the friends who knew me when I was young. I stand warned. I've gotta get better at answering email.

posted by enjelani @ 09:10 PM PST