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5 April 2002 (Friday): fashion sense

Got a haircut this afternoon, at a "real" salon this time, instead of the cheap drive-thru places I usually frequent. The stylist looked me up and down, from my parted-down-the-middle bangs-wandering-every-which-way tresses to my Velcro-fastened $8 sandals, and to my amazement merely smiled. The fashion police do have mercy sometimes. Particularly when they're taking your money, I suppose.

So now I have a hip haircut. It fits me about as well as anything that's hip, which is to say, not very. I can wear the little black dress with knee-high black boots and turn heads well enough, but it isn't me. I was a hand-me-down XL-tee gal for years and years, and however much I try to blossom into the chic, modern, yet down-to-earth siren I yearn to be, I think my soul is stuck back in third grade somewhere. Any attempt at sophistication feels insincere. It doesn't help that I am thoroughly uncomfortable with my own vanity, so I can't even think about pomade or princess seams without feeling terribly shallow. It's so much effort, this business of being fashionable. Why should it even matter? Why should I care?

In a sense it's like earning money. The end goal isn't the money itself; it's having enough of it so that I can stop worrying about it. I just want to be able to throw on some clothes in the morning, run my fingers through my hair, glance in the mirror and nod approvingly before I head out. That's all. But the perils are probably the same as with money, too: once you have a little, you think you need more, and it never stops. The beautiful people I watch enviously probably spend hours in stores and salons, and fret over how they look a hell of a lot more than I do. I'm certainly not interested in adopting that mentality. Not while there are books to read and trails to hike.

So maybe I'll just be a dorky looking chica until the day I die. There are worse fates. A good conversation is sexier than a good manicure, anyway.

posted by enjelani @ 07:25 PM PST

Replies: 3 comments

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