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25 June 2002 (Tuesday): my private mythology

Last weekend I discovered a new character in the slowly unfolding epic in my head: Enjelani's sister, Malagenya. It seems she's an archetype, representing all those who hunger for greatness and never find it, who learn to find peace with themselves despite a fruitless burning ambition. Grace in failure. I'm a little troubled about the timing of her appearance in my imagination -- why now, I wonder? Who is she?

Malagenya, she said. Her eyes were filled with tears. I did not ask for this. Do you understand? I did not ask for what was given me to do, to become. Do not envy me the journey ahead.

Then Malagenya wept with her. She drew her sister close and kissed her hair, and in that deep black summer night it seemed all the Mairai poured forth in sorrow.

Forgive me, Enjelani, she said. I do not envy you. Your story is not my story. I understand this. All your pain, if you would have me bear it, I would. All your joy, if you would have me share in it, I would. But you will be walking this road alone. I understand. Your story is not my story.

Enjelani touched her sister's face. Forget this, she begged her. Let go of this wish, this fervent desire. I will be haunted by what must come to pass; why should you be haunted by what can never be? Forget that you ever wanted to be chosen.

But Malagenya shook her head. It runs in me as the blood runs, she said. I can never forget. Sai dan mi'ahmei. Vi'aet ma sai.

posted by enjelani @ 02:22 PM PST

Replies: 1 comment

I wish I could find words for my personal mythos. I have one, but I have never thought about writing it down.

There is a whole sky's worth of constellations on D's back that come to life when I watch him breathe in the middle of the night....

posted by Moonpuddle @ 25 06 2002 11:05 PM PST