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10 May 2002 (Friday): halfway grown up

The problem with handling difficult situations well, I've found, is that I'm capable of it, but it's always accompanied by this undercurrent of smug self-satisfaction, even an unwarranted sense of superiority. In the long run this only makes the difficult situation worse, rather than giving it the neatly-bandaged sort of closure I was striving for in the first place. I don't want to walk away feeling all high and mighty, just because I acted mature like I'm supposed to. I want everyone to feel that something good came out of the whole mess, that's all.

Need to get rid of the little nyah-nyah girl living in my head.

In other news, there was an oboe concerto playing on the classical station as I took the shortcut route to work this morning, winding through fields of softly undulating grass and the moody silhouettes of oak trees. It all fit, the visual and the aural. Despite running late for a meeting, I had to smile.

Oh, and the city is beautiful in early morning. I think of cities as nighttime creatures, rows of glittering lights burning far into the dark hours. But it welcomes the sunrise too, just as hills and forests do.

Will you be there in the back of my mind, today? It's going to be hard.
Of course. I'll be holding your hand. Whispering things in your ear to make you laugh. I'll be there.

posted by enjelani @ 04:43 PM PST

Replies: 1 comment

an oboe concerto? that's nice... it's usually the typical baroque-flute filler crap that ends up being sent over the airwaves. so unfortunate!

posted by echeng @ 10 05 2002 10:16 PM PST