enjelani's journal - the last embassy

the last embassy
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1 April 2002 (Monday): misty morning

Dropped Dad off at the airport this morning at 7:30. I'd forgotten what early morning mist feels like....that strange mix of comfort and profound isolation. Sometimes I really pine for New England, which is a tad silly, since I've never been there more than a few days at a time. I've over-romanticized it in my head, I'm sure. But I've been wanting to see brick-building streets and wind-weathered grayness lately, as delighted as I am with the headiness of a West Coast spring. Beauty of the sunshiny sort comes a little too easily here.

I have resolved to go to the gym all five days this week. I'm fed up with feeling like a sack of jelly with fingers. The occasional hike and the occasional chopstick fencing match with Emmett is all well and good, but an investment in my longevity requires a bit more discipline. I want to be able to dance when I'm 65.

It's as though I'm descending a rope into a deep, dark well...sometimes I wonder whether I should stop, start climbing up before it gets any harder to turn back. But I keep going down, in hopes that someday my feet will touch something solid, something I can stand on. I can't see a thing but I'm hoping it's there.

posted by enjelani @ 08:51 AM PST

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